cemetry ridge.

Every thing is still gray and lifeless.the ground is ready for planting and all of nature
waits for the rain to bring the green shoots to life.I put this picture cause its just how it looks.
I have other better ones with bright bittersweet and fall colors but this picture shows what I saw.

the farmer had cut up some wood and it was laying along the forsets edge.if you push on the picture you will see it clearer.the bittersweet wasnt as lovely and plump as it was in the fall.but the view was still lovely.

I shut off the van and sat there with the wind blowing lightly in the window.every so often the breeze would tug at the lose hairs by my cheek.I could hear a chic a bee singing off in the jack pines next to me.I could hear two hounds off some place in the valley hot on the trail of some varmet.their howls drifted on the wind down the valley.the smell of spring was in the air.fresh turned earth,mixed with rain from the last rain storm.I felt at home.

I closed my eyes and wondered if in deed some day I may live out this way?I lived about 8 or 9 miles straight north of here when I was a kid.so this was home to me.I had traveled this country all most all my life.I came here every chance I got.but only the Lord knows the place he has for me.

I picked up my bible and read psalm 34{its one the Lord gave me to stand on long ago.I like it best in the living bible}.
and wrote in my journal I keep in the van for days like this.I read some of the entrys and I felt bad cause the entrys pretty much spoke what had happened .
met my man, loved him and lost him all in the span of a few pages.it had been mouths all condenced in a juornal of only a few pages.
I wrote down the beauty of the day and the fact "I was not alone.I had Jesus and he was the best husband I ever had."and the words helped me to let the past go.

I wonder how people can just walk away from someone and not even call to see how they were doing for 6 months.but it just shows that the match wasnt made in heaven.
its been along time now sence we talked.I checked to see how he was.he had called one night about three weeks ago cause he was having problems.I prayed with him.but sence I called to check I have heard nothing.it only shows he cares little for me ,only himself.I made the right choice!!Iam better off.

the cemetry behind me is very old.its stones are from the 18oos.there is some you cant even read they are weathered so much.there are a few newer ones but I dont think cemetry is in use any more.
some one came along time ago and cleared years of dead grass and things away.and sat up stones that were falling down.
and now its cared for.there is a babys stone with a teddybear on it.
the bear is old and weathered and it sits to remind one that someone lost this child years ago and they were loved.the family is years gone now and the child many years buryed in this place.but still one knows they were loved.and I hope they are all together on that other shore.smiling faces joyfull and happy together again.