looking to the future together.

well I got home sat night about 6;oo.we had pizza before I left. Tj had two of his friends over.they went fishing and Anna, jake and her hubby and I watched movies.it was a nice visit.
this picture was taken up at the park the day we went for a ride.its a cute picture of them together.they make a cute couple.this is Anna her hubby and their little dog teddy.
















we had a nice time just visiting and watching movies.the kids had a good time at the sales they went to.its a 70 some mile sale.it has alot of towns that all have their sales at the same time.
I just stayed and put the dog out for them.it felt good to just sit out in the country and enjoy the day.
teddy sat on the foot rest and I rocked us with my foot.he is so funny cause if I stop he looks at me as if to say"hey get rocking!!!

Anna and her family help me alot.life would be pretty lonely without them.her hubby is a nut.he did his no shirt musle builder pose,hairy chest and all.

I played it burns my eyes out and hold up my hand in front of my eyes.and say "O my God,I wouldnt be able to get that picture out of my mind now"!!!!!

I love to tease him.he giggles and it cracks me up. they put the picture of her hubby on their cell phone so when they called me here is the fur bareing mamel himself looking at me. I said what tah!!!! and Anna started laughing.

I said I thought some porn site was calling me or something!!!she just giggled and said thats why she called to see what I would say.(ANNA,S hubby is a fur bareing mamel!!!!)
I need to get down and pick on kruze to. I aint picked on him for a long time.we use to rip on each other alot and tease.I miss it.he is a sweet heart to.I like to see him giggle to.(kruze is my other son in law.)if ya read, love you kruze....

I felt like a new person when I got home .it helped me to get in a better mood.I was still down yet before I left to go to Anna,s.I just couldnt seem to get the enrgy or some thing.have you ever been like that?well lately that is how I felt.I came home and I just rested on sunday.didnt even feel like getting on the blog.so I just rested.

today I went wild and cleaned house.now thats a shock!!!!! cause the poor house has been let go for a while.I felt who the H--- see,s it anyway!!!!but then today it came to me, even if Iam alone I love this place and I like to see it clean!!!so with the Lords help I went to cleaning.and it looks better.tomorow Ill do the rest and wash clothes.

well the hubby called just before I left on thursday.he said he had notised I hadnt called for a few days.I hadnt heard form him for over a month and I hadnt called for at lest that long.I had talked to his mom when he isnt there.but guess it says alot when he thinks its only been a few days and a month went by.

he acted like every thing was ok and nothing was wrong.

its best that he left.I had to see it for my self.when he came back for the month it showed me that it was best for me to be here alone.he says he is doing better that all is well with him now.but is it?I heard it before and every thing was not ok!!!! I prayed for him about 2 weeks ago by calling a prayer group and explaining the mess with them.and they helped me get some insight into the mess,it helped alot.

wonder what would have happened if I had done to him what he did to me?boy if I had a brain Id be dangerous.where men are consurened I sure dont know how to pick em!!!!

I will one day just do what needs to be done.but Ill wait tell Iam sure he is on his feet and able to handle it.I dont want to do the paper work tell I am sure.he wont mind any way but I feel I have to do whats best for both of us.I dont think he ever really loved me.I think it was just the Idia of the thing he loved.but guess we will never know the truth for sure.all I know is what I saw,and that was enough to show me it wasnt going to work.

I would sure like to go back and enjoy the good times we had at first.but you cant go back and live it over.and there were some very good times.
blue eyes from the blog(its the little things.)was talking about things like this.

she made some good points.it seems that I was seeing the man he was trying to be, and couldnt.and it was very hard when I lost that man. cause he was the one I loved.he is the one I miss.but this person who came in his place is a stranger.and we dont fit together at all.I dont believe he will be able to handle a realionship tell he can get right with the Lord.that realionship is the most important.with out that one right, nothing else goes right.

pray for him and me.it was 4 years of up,s and alot of downs.and it will take us both a long time to heal with the Lords help.

I believe the Lord has a plan for my life and he will bring it to pass.I maybe alone but I have the Lord.

someone once said."if you have every thing but dont have the Lord ,you have nothing.but if you only have the Lord, you have everything!!!!and it is so ture.

It took me 18 years to get to the point to trust men again ,to even try to be in love again and this happened!!!!so I need to heal.so if I get down on men its cause I have seen what they are like.and it sucks big time!!!!

so if you are a good man out there and you read my blog then you have to forgive me and see where Iam coming from.

Iam getting hungry and need to fix supper.so I will close for tonight.have a great week and God bless you all.
thanks for reading.