Fall,cooler weather,broken hearts and broken cup,s and fresh water.

Here are some fall sences to cool off those of us who need it!!!Gods built in air condishner, cool lakes and the north woods...
give me a cool lake and a cabin in the fall,and Id be in heaven.

I hate hot weather.and I am already looking for fall.the air running in my ear so I cant hear TV.the having to stay in cause its so dam hot.gets to me.I cant take the heat.it makes me sick.I use to be able to stand it but no more.winter looks good every time the heat and moggys come to our state.give me 5 feet of snow and cold winds any day instead the hot and moggys.it isnt fit out for man or beat today.I pitty the poor animals who dont have shade or owners who make sure they have water.it would be hell out without water and shade today!!!!

I am feeling under the weather today.I didnt feel so good when I went to Anna,s.my chest feels like a horse is sitting on it.and I have a cough.wish I could just lay down and sleep.but then I wouldnt be able to sleep tonight.I am just so sleepy.I guess I may be running a low grade fever.guess Ill have to take a asperin.

sorry Iam in a crummy mood today but we had some bad news "again"!!!!Anna has been having some water problems.and we didnt know for sure what it is.
you think maybe its just that the pressure tank is full of sand.or that there is some thing small.like the screen needs to be blowen out.
but then you wonder O no Lord not to redrill the well!!!
no one knows any thing who comes out.they give you a song and dance.like" O we can do this and that".and of corse it will cost you money you dont have...two diffrent guys came out and neather knew his butt from his elbow.and of corse charged 75.oo just for showing up and talking a good game.of corse when each left there was still no water and no Idia what the blue blazes was wrong.

poor Anna has been hit with nothing but crap this year.every time she turned around some dang thing needed fixing.the frig the truck,and more that slips my mind now.all on top of the other crap in the family.
so they are going to try one more thing and hope it works cause the kids do not have the money for a new well.so please pray for them.

we know at times like this its up to God to meet the needs.I learned that a long time ago."when your up against a wall and you have no place to go cause you cant go over or under or around.you need to trust God to help you blast right through.I been in those places more then I like to remember.and this is one of those times.
she has no water for any thing.no dishes,washing clothes,flushing the potty,showers,zip!!!so girls you know she needs your prayers.when a woman cant do her work she gets alittle upset.and this poor girl is in tears...she had had her fill of hard times and is about to have a hissy fit..I am real sure if she could get her hands on the devil and his bad times she would give him a reason to hate the name Anna.and Id help her kick the snot out of him.and I do with prayer!!!
and on top of that all its hotter then hello,and they are unable to use the air cause they are so trapped for cash.and Tj the oldest grandson is like me he cant take the heat...
I feel bad cause Iam as poor as a church mouse and dont have money to help them.but I know the Lord does.

hubby called tuesday.it took me by surprise.I was doing ok tell then.he was havin a good day he said he wanted me to know that "I had done so many nice things for him when we were still together,that I had been good to him.that he wanted me to know I was special and not to let my mind to think other wise..he said we needed to not lose that.

yes I was good to him,and I did do good things for him and stuck by him.and loved him with all my heart.but when he left me and ran off and didnt care to even check to see if I was alive or dead for 6 months.he not only walked out the door he walked out of my heart.
I need some one who is there for me to.some one who would give me back what i gave out.some one who loves me!!!SOMEONE WHO CARES AS MUCH TO GET MY NEEDS MEET AS, I care to get their needs meet.some one who doesnt fold and run when the going gets hard.
I didnt have the heart to tell him ,what we had is already gone long ago.it died when he left.and when he left my heart would never trust a word he said again.or ever trust another man with it as long as I live.
I thought of writing to him and explaning the truth to him.seeing he doesnt seem to understand just what he throw away.but it wouldnt do any good.I dont want revenge or to hurt him.I just dont have that person in me who loved him any more.that girl is long gone.she died the day he walked out the door.and she had to, to servive.

my heart has had way too many times of being smashed on the floor.way to many times of being thrown away like so much trash on trash day.and I will not let my self be hurt again by any one.
the first man I was married to put booze before me and his family..the second one put two other women,his ex and the one who broke them up..and hubby put himself and his eye candy and his fantasys,before me.

I use to think it was the men who were to blame.but now I think its me..I just have real bad teast in men.I pick people who really dont love me.and they dont care about me eather.they see the good in me but its not good enough for them to stay with me forever.

I have loved men and did every thing I knew to be a good wife and it was all a big wast of time.nothing I did mattered.so i have desided to save my self and some one else the pain.I will stay single from now on.

the Lord is my hubby now.he Loves me as I am and will never leave me.he see,s the good in me and the beauty and I dont have to try to make him love me or fear he will stop loving me and run off.I know he will be with me forever.

I tryed one more time to find some one who could love me and I could love and be with the rest of my life.some one who would love to share my life with me.but I ended up with the same thing only in a diffrent package.to a human man I come in second best every time.and some times farther down the list then that.
this last time I did every thing I knew to do.and I prayed for the Lords help as well to be a good wife.but I just need to understand no matter how much you try.some times you fail any way.and its best to cut your loses and move on.and its best to move on alone.

I do not believe any more that there is some one out there for me!!!I use to have this feeling from the time I was old enough to remember,that some where was a person just for me.some one who would love me and want to be with me the rest of my life.some one who I could give my heart and love to and not be afraid.some one who would value me and my love.but the only one who ever met those things was Jesus.everyone else failed....
its easy to love others.but its dam hard to find some one to love me...

I have seen some thing that is very odd.men who treat women like queens end up with a woman who cheats on them.and woman who treat men good end up alone.
I have seen men who give their wives every thing,bend over back wards and do every thing to make them happy.his faithful and kind and likes to do romantic things for them. comes home every night at the same time.and is as trust worthy as can be. dont hang out in bars.or flert with every thing coming down the pike. the woman runs off with some johnny come lately.

I have seen women who are faithful and love their husbands and keep the home neat as a pin,tells him he is still handsome even if he has a pot got.and still wants him to feel good about himself.sticks by him come hell or high water.and is a good wife.and every chance the jurk gets he is eather eyeing up women or making his wife feel like chopped liver.saying he dont deisre her like he use to cause she has put on alittle pounds.even thow bubba has also put on a tire around his belly.and sure as heck dont look like the guy she married.

I come to this "people are screwed up"!!!!!!

God should put the good men with the good women who will be faithful and the people who will treat them good.
and the other ones let them have each other....
but I see people who get their heart broken every day by people who cant be a good hubby or wife.and its christians just as much as sinners who mess up...

all I know is I dont want to be hurt no more.I feel as if my life here is about to change for the better or slowly head to home.I aint no spring chicken any more.and no great beauty not even close.and all I did have to give has been used up long ago by people who didnt value it to begin with.
I use to love to cook and bake and be a good wife.when hubby walked out all that left.I could care less now to cook yummy tasty meals.for just one who cares.I liked to think Id have a home of my own and some one to share it.well I dont have eather...
all I want to do is be happy and its been a dam long time sence I can honestly say I have been....
I know I sound like a winer!!!well too bad!!!!I am tryed of the bull...I need my needs met to.I pray for people all the time.I watch the news and see hurting people and I pray for them.I go on the blogs and read between the lines and see the pain and hurts and cover up,s and I pray for them....
but now I need my needs met...I need to be happy cause I cant stand this saddness any more.I need a new start.and reason for being here.a reason for looking forward to the future.a future of good not evil to give me a hope and a future.
and only God can do it.I know I will not make it with out his help...
I needed to vent cause if I dont Ill emplode...
I dont blame hubby he just isnt the one..he tryed real hard.but you cant make some one love you if they dont...and if we belonged to gether in the first place we would still be together.nothing or no one could have split people up who belonged together.if a man loves a woman he does every thing to make sure her needs are met.if he doesnt he doesnt care about her.and if he doesnt it will not work.
and if the woman doesnt do all she knows to keep things together then they didnt belong together.we both tryed and it was just a lost dream..the good wasnt good enough and the bad just killed what was good.trust goes,faith gets low.soon there isnt any thing to hold the love and its over.and its time to face the facts.what you had is gone.what was good has been washed away.and now all that remains is to move on and find happyness some place else...
and for me where that place is I dont know.all I know is I dont go alone .I have the one who has always been by my side.who has always loved me and thought I was valueable. one who was proud when I took a picture that was good enough to sell.looked at the paintings and drawings I did and said they are great.not looked and said nothing.he has always made me feel wanted and loved. always been here for me.with out him Id have given up long ago.
Jesus you are the one who is always here for me.I need you and your love more then any thing this old world has to offer.
take my hand Lord and show me where from here.cause I am alittle weak from the journey,and alittle tired from the battle..I need you to carry me for a while tell I can once again stand on my own...

thanks for reading.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

some times its best to clean the cup so it can be refilled with fresh water...
my cup not only needed cleaning it needed to have a hole plugged.you cant fill a cup if its broken....Lord fix me and fill me up so I can be a worthy vessle again...matthew 15;14. luke 6;40 james 1;5 john 16;13 john 16;14-16 2 samuel 22;33...proverbs 16;3...