the past walks away.and I start a new day..

(Farwell hubby....)
the hubby called friday.he started his I am calling to see how you are.and before he was off the phone I was so upset.I had been sick for a few days and just laying low.he said what are you doing?I said laying down.he said I mean do you have anything going?I said what do you mean?he said thought Id come up your way to see how you are doing.
fear gripped my heart.I sat there and just couldnt believe what I was hearing.he was planning on just out of the blue coming here to stay.Hadnt heard from him hardly at all for so long then he figures he can just show up and stay here.
I said "now isnt a good time".(thought no time would be!!!!)
he said he was thinking about being up in my neck of the woods.I thought (what the heck is going on?)but didnt say anything.
he didnt seem like he was doing so good by the way he was talking.and after he started saying things that upset me I just said,
please dont call here anymore.I had to say it three or four times and he just kept saying I love the real you.over and over.
I was thinking this is the real me!!!!
he had said I wasnt the real me.I said well if you mean Iam not the girl who was in love with you then your right.
but Iam no longer in love with you.I care what happens to you and pray you will find the help you need.but Ill never be the girl who loved you again.he kept yelling I love the real you.I said good you keep on loving that girl.but she is gone.

I finely had to hang up with him still yelling that this wasnt who I was in my ear!!!!
once I made up my mind to end it once and for all .I said once more do not call here again.
I had to call for prayer cause I was so upset.the young man on the prayer line was so nice and listoned while I cryed my eyes out telling him what had gone on.he prayed for me and hubby.and as he did the fear and the hurt finely left and a peaceful comforting mood moved in.
few days later my sister in law called to say that hubbys grandma wasnt very good.in fact she had been sick for a while.she said she wasnt exspected to go on to long.Hubby was going to leave with his grandma so sick...
and I just couldnt figure what was going on with him.
then just yesturday the sister in law called me to say grandma had gone home to be with Jesus.she said "she was going home to be with her mom and family".we talked a while and she had to go.
I called later that day to find out my mother in law has had her hands full.she had been with grandma and her sister at their mothers side as she passed away.she said grandma went easy.and she had everything ready for the girls for her passing.all her afairs were in order.list for every one to call.every thing right down to the T...

I told her that was a blessing.and grandma knew she was going to leave soon.mom agreed.
then I asked to speek with hubby to tell him I was sorry to hear his grandma passed.
but mom said he isnt here anymore.he took off on sat and didnt come home.he had gone to his other grandma,s place and nearly drove her up the wall.she was about to call the police to get him to leave.she was so upset by how he was acting.
finely he left but didnt go home.he was seen walking way in another small town a long way from where his car was (still near his grandma,s).
the police had called to say they had seen him still walking that night.
finely he most have walked back to his car and moved it to another place.and walked to another town.the police seen him again.and finely picked him up and brought him home.he was out of it mom said.he would just mumble and hum.
she left to go be with grandma.and stayed over night at her sisters place with her.so they could be close to grandma,if need be.as much as they could.
next day she stopped back in to see if he was ok.but he was gone again.she called home to find out later he was back in the hospital.she said she will not let him come back there.she said she cant take it no more.
and boy do I understand.she has her hands full with all the other stuff.
guess hubby had stopped taking his pills again.hadnt been eating and wasnt sleeping eather.and he was sun burnt bad.the days he had walked were very hot.
so Iam so glad the Lord warned me to not let him come and to hang up on him.
as soon as I can I will do the paper work.I need to be free from this.and the only way to do it is to undo the marriage.that way he will move on to.
if he cant go back to his mother and fathers place I do not know where he will go.
I feel sorry for him.but he brings some of this on himself.he refuses to keep taking the pills that keep him at lest stable.
but he feels its the pills that cause the problems.
NO ITS THE STOPPING THEM THAT DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but he is too stubbern to liston.

the 22 of june Ill be going to my son in laws to house sit for him.this is the room Ill be sitting in.the view is
pretty from the windows.
the picutre below this one shows you the farm Ill be staying at.only problem is its going to be dam HOT!!!
90,s!!!! and I do not like the heat..
he has only small air.and it will be in the window next to me.wish I could take my air with but cant.one of these days I am going to get my self one of those ones that you can move around easy.cause some people still think its ok to sweat like a pig and feel sick.and not use air.well if the weather keeps gettng hot I need my air.
this is my oldest grandaughter walking down her drive way.it was a lovely day that day.the clouds were showing a storm was on the way.I took this picutre cause it was so pretty with the clouds and her walking with her hair blowing in the wind.

I have been sick for a few days and just didnt feel so good.just layed around and got my strength back.had a bad couph.that zapped my energy,and low grade fever to go with it.
so sorry I havent been on here but I just didnt have the time and the energy.
this will be the last post for a while till I get back.I was going to take the computer,but its just one more thing Id have to drag along.so it stays here.Ill write about my trip and take pictures while there.
hope all of you are doing good.I will not be able to comment on your blogs tell I get back.
I just havent the time or the energy back yet.so please bare with me tell I get back then Ill up date you.

For now have a very nice summer,and your all in my prayers.please pray for me as well that I dont melt into a puddle and disapear.
Ill see you again soon,arould the 29 or 30th...
tell then God bless you all and keep you safe in the palm of his hand.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
pray also for my in laws and the things they will be going through sence grandma,s passing.
also pray for hubby cause unless he gets his act together he is in for a real hard time again.this is the 5th time,
in 3 years he has been in the hospital for this...
thanks for your prayers and your love.

Your friend Leann...