snow falling out my window.

the snow has been falling all day.and its so pretty.wish I had time to import the pictures but I dont.Ill just say Iam home and I had a great time with family once we had a lights out time.

we played games and had a wonderful time.

we were snowed in for an extra day and came home on the 25th from lucys and kruzes.the drive home was pretty.alot of snow and roads werent the best.

TJ wanted me to come out for christmas eve so I stayed out there to see them open gifts.TJ wanted me to see what he got his mom.nice wall clock she loved it.

Ill write more when I can,but just cant get my writing juices going for some reason.

hope you all had a wonderful time.

we had a blizzerd at kruzes and we all got snowed in.thank God for candles and woodstoves cause the lights went off to.so we had a good old fachioned christmas and I loved it.no noise!!!!only time spent together..wish the lights would go out every time..

God bless everyone,hope you all had a wonderful christmas.

I will be back on soon.take care and have a Happy New Year..

my love to you all..

peace on earth good will to man

Christmas in Heaven

"Tis christmas in Heaven what a beautiful sight!

It,s my first one here;Everything is all right.

The crib is adorned with the brilliance of the star;

wisemen have come from near and far.

I,ve met all our dear ones who preceded us here;'the reunion was lovely,

an event full of cheer.

And tonight we,ll all gather,In reverance we,ll kneel,

For the babe in the cradle.Up in Heaven is real!

I think of my family That I left behind

and pray that your Christmas is as blessed as mine.

Please shed no more tears,For my soul is at rest

just love one another,Live life to its best.

Yes,it,s Christmas in Heaven,So I,ve heard them say.

Yet,Christmas in Heaven happens every day. (writer not known)

This was sent to me to comfort me and my family this year.its been the second Christams with out mom.and it will be the first Christmas for others with out their loved ones.

its hard to say goodby to those we love,but its much easyer if we know where they are.I know where my mom is and that gives me great comfort.she loved Jesus and had recieved him as her Lord and savior.

Christmas is a time for those still here to share the blessed time of the year.peace ,joy and comfort fill us as we draw near.

I was trying to think of a christmas that stands out in my mind as the best christmas I ever had.

I remember so many wonderful Christmas times with loved ones.

the year I was still a young child and still believed in santa.I was getting ready for bed.my mother and granny were doing supper dishes and talking about the stuff they had to do for the next day.it was a cold night and the woodstove kept the chill off the floors.the windows were all frosted over .and the yard light made the snow look blue as I looked out the window in the bathroom.the stars were so clear that night.

mom said get ready now cause I will take you up stairs.I asked if I could please stay up just alittle longer.but she said it was late and I needed to go to bed so I could get up early,cause tomororw was Christmas morning.the tree lights were so pretty that year,and the living room looked lovely in the glow of the lights.

mom said come now and I headed up the step,s to the little bedroom at the top.it was cuddled under the eve,s of the roof. and my bed was against the south wall.with the head near the east window.mom helped me say my prayers and said now you go to sleep.she tucked me in and said good night.she kissed me and headed down the steps.

I lay there for a long time listening to mom and granny talking down stairs.I couldnt hear what they were saying but the sound was soothing,knowing someone was near.I remember hearing the dogs bark.I had almost fallen asleep.and I woke up and listened.no one was talking down stairs.then I heard my Dad come in he was talking to mom or granny in the livingroom.couldnt hear what he was saying all I remember is I tryed real hard to hear without getting out of bed.

then I yelled to him and said Dad do you think santa will come soon.he said not if your still awake.I said I was asleep but the dog,s woke me.he said the dog,s heard some thing to the north of the house.he was going to see what it was.he said you go to sleep now.

I heard him go out side and yell at the dog,s when they barked again.and then all was still for a long time.the coolness in my room and the blankets tucked up to my ears felt so comfy I cuddled in more.I loved being in that little room.if I moved close to the edge of the bed I could look out the window and see the yard light and the yard around the shed.and just a little of the barn.

I couldnt see anyone out there,the shed where Dad worked had the door closed and smoke drifted out the fondery chimmany and currled in the night sky.the barn was dark and not a sound could be heard.then off in the distance a sound caught my ear.it was bells,yes I listened and stranded my ear,s.yes bells.I couldnt hear with the balnkets so close so I pushed them back.and sure enough they were bells I heard.

I heard granny down stairs say I head some thing.mom said Ill check and she opened the door.the sound of bells was louder.I was quiet and climbed out of bed and got close to the window.I couldnt see anything only the dogs running and all exsited over something.then one barked and ran behind the house.

soon my mom came back in and said its bells I hear them off in the north of the yard.I sure hope the little one is asleep if its santa,or he will go right on by.she was standing near the step,s when she said it. I was ever so quiet as I climbed back in bed.then as I lay there wondering if it was santa.

I heard my Dad come in and say its funny but I thought I heard bells off in the swamp just a while ago.mom said I stuck my head out and heard them to.he said Ill go check and see if its santa.he headed out the door and soon I heard the bells even louder.and soon a loud sound on the roof by my bedroom.I peeked but didnt see anything.and then I heard a loud sound in the livingroom.like some one bringing some thing big in the house and putting it in the living room.

then all was still for a long time.Mom and Dad came up and went tosleep .the sound of their snoring came drifting in now and then.but I couldnt sleep.I remember I was scared that if santa,s elf was looking Id not get anything cause I was wide awake.

so I prayed my prayers and asked Jesus to help me sleep.I lay there and listened to the sounds of a winter house creek and grown and crak in the cold.the fire was burning down in the stove and the chimmeny was cooling down.I cuddled under my blankets more.

I wonder what santa would bring me.I was exsited and wish morning would come soon.the last thing I remember was hearing a owl hoot in the tree out side my window,and I was asleep.

I remember having a dream of all kinds of toys and Christmas things Id seen in town and dolls Id like to have.it was a wonderful dream but I cant remember it all.but it was so real and so lovely.I remembered it when I woke the next morning and lay there just enjoying it.everyone was still asleep.so it was earlly.they werent even up to do the milking yet.

so I desided I better be still a while longer.then I could smell coffee cooking and the fire being lite.and soon granny yelled and said its time to get up smokie.I ran down and looked for Mom and Dad but they were up and had gotten by me. and I was so sound asleep I hadnt heard them.granny said we had to wait to open gifts tell the others came in.

so I lay on the day bed by the window and looked out side.the sun was bright on the snow and it was sparkeling.the trees had frost on them and as the sun got warmer the frost fell off here and there.

the morning was perfect,granny got breakfast ready,and as soon as mom and dad came in we eat.I dont remember what we had all I know is I couldnt wait to get to the gifts.and soon we were done and headed to the livingroom.

all I remember is mom opening a big box from santa.it was full of all kinds of paper.and way at the bottem was a box with a ring inside for her.she cryed and hugged dad.later Id find out he had found the dimond in a place he had been digging some where.and he had put it in a setting for mom.she was happy and I could see her eyes sprakle as she looked at it.and at Dad.those were good times.

I dont even remember what I got that year for Christmas.all I remember is how Dad had made mom happy.years later I would hear how Dad had stomped in the house and carryed the box in to make mom wonder and make me think it was santa.

he would do it one more year for me,then I would know it was not the real meaning of Christmas.and santa would be just a childhood memorie.those times were wonderful and I like to go back there and remember a easyer more simple time in my life.

a time before the divorce and having to move away from the only home Id ever known.a time before I found I couldnt trust my father.a time before I would learn nothing stays the same.and a time when granny was still here and life seemed like a fairtail full of love and hopes and dreams and christmas joy.but it was long ago and far way now.but I can go there in my memories.

I also remember the year I was in first grade,and had to sing in the christmas play.and do a little skit with my cousin shirly.mom made me a cloat for my doll and she wore it on the night of the play.I dont remember what we had to say all I know is we were little and cute and everyone clapped and said nice things about our skit.the little country school was all decked out in christmas far and everyone who could be there was.

we sang Christmas songs and did all the skits.they we asked if we could go to the bathroom.it was cold out and the bathroom was a out door biffy.berrrrr!!!!but when ya got to go you got to go...so shirlyand I headed out the door.as we did we looked up on the roof and there was tracks in the snow like two runners and some deer tracks.we ran back to the school and told our teacher.she ran out and she saw them to.

I remember some one saying it looked like santa had been up on the roof.no one knew who had done it.and all wondered and talked about it.I wondered if uncle elden had done it.he was the kind of guy who liked to play tricks and make poeple laugh.so I thought for years it was him.

all I know is that year stands out for me as one of the best Christmas times to.

then the times my kids were little and Christmas time was wonderful.but Ill let Anna if she will write a Christmas she remembers.

Merry christmas and happy new year to all.have a wonderful time with those you hold dear.and know your all dear to me.

this ones for TJ and Eric

click on the picture,and wait..

little things make me smile.

isnt this little guy cute?I just love mice.they are so cute and I like to see them in movies and on TV.mouse hunt was a cute movie.only they didnt have to put the junk in it they did.

well today this will be short.the grandson TJ finds it too hard to read.and I been told no one wants to read long dragged out posts.so Iam cutting it short.my son in law doesnt like to read.and he had taught his boys the same thing.

well I find if you dont like to read others long blogs, they soon dont read yours.

and people have some thing to say.so if its too hard to read my blog TJ its too hard for me to read yours as well.and to my son in law.where will you be when a important message is left for you at the end of a long written note,and you dont read it cause you hate to read?hope its not from your boss or worse your wife.

Ill do you two a faver boys.when I get my stuff in print Ill not share the wealth of my writing with you.that way you dont have to feel gilty for not reading it.

the family

the man of God and his family

Billy and Ruth Graham..

the light of the world

a few years ago I read a story about Billy Graham and his son.they had taken a walk down the country road near their home.this was years back when the boy was very young.as they walked along they talked of things son,s and fathers talk about when they are together.

all at once the boy dropped to his nee,s and then to his tummy and said OOO I smashed it Daddy.they are hurt.billy dropped down to look beside his son.

there was a ant hill all smashed and some of the ants were dead and some were carrying the dead away and others were trying to open up the hole.

the little boy was so sorry for what he had done.he said Daddy can we help.please can we do some thing to help them?

but billy looked at his son and said I am sorry son but we would have to get in a body like theirs and then we would be able to help them.

the story was so simple and so clear.God the father looked down from the heavens and saw his children suffering as man kind does on earth ,and he wanted to help.Jesus by his side, said father can I help them.and God said yes you will go in a body like theirs and do what needs

to be done.

I love how billy took a simple child like story and explained the way God helped us.he needed to be able to come down here and see how we are and what we go through to be able to help us.

its like a old Indain once said,"you cant judge a man tell you have walked a mile in his mockisens."

so the mighty God of heaven and earth made himself a body to live in cause God is Spirit,and he came down here to help.I love that story and I love Billy Graham and his faimly.

Billy lost his help mate and the family lost their mother.but they know where to find her.dear ruth went home a while back and will be having christmas with Jesus this year.and one day they all will be together again.but for now their work goes on.keep the Billy Graham family in your prayers this year.thank you Billy and Franklin for your lovely giving hearts,for all you have done .merry christmas and happy new year.

O christmas tree O christmas tree how lovely are your branches

My girls love teddybears.they collect them.and they have some of the sweetest ones.this tree with all its little fuzzy friends under is a post for Lucy,Anna,Em,and sarbear.

I love you all and cant wait till christmas to be with you all.

I love this time of year.its the time of year when all things seem posiable.when no prayer is too hard to answer.and no dream is too hard to come true.the time of year when God was the gift giver to show how its done.

a baby was born for all man kind and peace on earth was granted to all men.this peace was with God.for he had finely sent the one who was able to pay the price to get it.that one night changed every thing.one small child came on the seen and forever would be inportant in this old sin covered world.

the child came as a poor child who was forced to be born in a barn and layed with loving care in a manger intended for animals .this was so even a poor man could call on him and be not afriad.he was given gifts of great value so even rich men could call out to him and feel unafraid.

this small child who seemed so helpless was God himself wrapped in human form.the loving father come to buy back his lost family in the body of his son.

the night must have been proud to have Jesus born.the stars twickled alittle brighter.the wind blew alittle softer,the animals bowed down in worship and awe.

did his mother know who was looking back at her as she tended to his needs?she new he was Gods son, but did she know one day she would have to cry out to him for her own salvation?yes she was blessed to have been given the chance to bar him.but she to needed what he came to give.

the story of this night has been told over and over for over 2000 years,but it never loses its wonder or glory.it shines down in time as the greatest christmas there ever could be.as lovely as all the ones that came after are ,they will never out shine the very frist.and I think that is why babys born are blessed alittle more on their frist christmas.

I think about what it was like to have been there to see Jesus as a baby.what a blessing it was to those who had waited years in the temple for the time to come.so they could see with their own eyes the son of God the redemer come to pass.

it fills my heart with joy to know who he was and just why he came.for he was fully God and fully man.it could have not been done any other way.only God could live a sinless life to save us.

the God of heaven and earth gave up his place in heaven to come here in a babys form to live a life for us that we could not do for our self.and one day he hung on a tree and died to give the blood that would wash us clean.because there is no salvation with out blood to pay the price for sin.Jesus is the lamb of God.

Do you ever think about how he lived here as he grow.people say all maner of things that are not true about him.there was a movie out just short time ago that said he was married and had kids and all things to belittle what he did.and they were all lies.because the bible said he was not married cause he gave up the right to have a family ,to buy us back.we you see are his family.we are his kids.it says so in the last book of the bible.

and the bible is the word of God.yes he inspired God fearing men to write what he layed on their hearts.just like he is inspiring me to write this now through his Holy spirit.

I am no great writer.in fact if you were to talk to my teaches in school they would tell when I left I barely could read let alone spell so anyone could understand what I was writing.

they would tell you I was a person who they pushed in one door and kicked out the other.my report card was very colorful if you get my drift.

so you see if God had not worked with me for years to be able to use me.you would surely not be reading this now ,nore would there be a blog here called the view from the eagles nest.this is His blog not mine.

had he not made a way for me to get the computer there would be no blog.and he helped me learn how to work this thing.he used my grandkids and daughters and son in law to give me the pointers and then I was on my own.and I felt like teaching it to fly out my 7th floor window many times.

so if God can use a dummy like me and get me to where he can speak through then he can surely use anyone.

it says in his word he uses the foolish, to confound the wise.so does he use men?yes he did it back before he came and he is doing so today.only diffrence is back then the Holy Spirit hovered over them not live in them.

do you remember the word that says "God didnt want to live in tents in the desert,but in the hearts of his people?well that is why he sent Jesus,and Jesus sent back his Holy Spirit when he asended.so he could live in us when we were born again.

"Christ in you the hope of glory ".he still uses men to day and women who will recieve him and then be willing to hear him and spend time with him.

em I special?no Iam just willing to let him work through me.em I some big inportant person?no.Iam just a little house wife,who isnt very smart,or who would not be able to do any thing with out Him.

does God work through people today?yes ..

does the devil work through people today?yes.one only has to look around at the evil in this world.but one can also see the good.

but it depends on what channels you watch on TV.cause the NBC,S ,and CBS,S,and channels like the so called family channel dont want you to know there is Gods work going on.if you dont believe me take a good look at what is said when 700 club the only christian show on it is ,over.it says "we do not agree with what was said in this show".

in other words we dont believe in a God who is God of heaven and earth.we only believe in money and big bucks.we are just letting this 700 club on because they owned it frist.

sence it was taken over I dont watch it any more.only when 700 club comes on.why you may ask?

well cause its gotten as bad as some of the nasty channels.you cant let your kids watch cause they have some pretty risky junk on.so as for calling them self fox family they should be called foxy family channel.

just for the record I liked it much better before fox took it over.if Iam not mistaken ted turner took it over,I rest my case.he was the one who divocred his wife shorty after she got saved when her driver had been telling her about Jesus for two years.

I also love the fact this time of year shows who is christian and who is just playing both sides of the fence.like the stores who forbide their workers to say Merry christmas.

O you want my money this time of year but you dont want to be caught saying merry christmas.well dear christmas and Jesus are the reason for the season.and if he aint in it it aint christmas..so if ya dont want me in your store saying merry christmas then sweetie you can get along just fine with out my bucks to!!!!

can you believe the stupidity of some people.they cut their own nesks and dont even know it.

I feel this way."if ya dont like what I believe in fine.dont get invalved.dont put up a tree,dont even put things in your store for gifts.after all God started the gift giving at christmas frist.so you will have to find a diffrent time.and then us people who do believe can have our holiday in peace.and if others are offened by what we believe so what,we let them come here to worship as they feel.so who gives them the right to have a hissy fit when they came to a christian country in the frist place for the freedom we have cause (we are) a christian nation.

I dont care if you worship the back side of a bull or UFO,S or little green men ,we all have free will.I will share the truth with you.so you cant say I didnt at judgement day.but if ya want to skiss the back side of a bull or what ever, fine.but I have a right to believe in and worship the one who saved me so I knew it.

now when your bull can do that then and only then would I even pay attention.

but Ill still believe the truth and stick with Jesus.even if your bull stands on his back feet and sings the battle hem of the repblic in the key of c.and does the moon walk holding a budda,mohammed,the easter bunny and santa..now if your offended by that then you know how I feel when you dis my Jesus!!!!

christmas is the time my soon coming kind was born and its a wonderful time of year for me.so dont tell me I cant say merry christmas or put a manger seen in my yard.cause them are fighting words.

how do you feel about the stores and people who want to close down Christmas?

or kill the jews or whip them off the face of the earth?

we need to stand up for them and us.cause we have the same God.He picked them frist and grafted us in later.

sorry so long but things jsut tee me off when someone trys to stomp on my party.

please leave a comment and let me know how you have seen the christmas killers.

the ones who say happy holidays or the winter season.those who want to take christ out of christmas and turn it in to a X "Mess"..cause with out Jesus in the season it is a mess...

thanks for reading and God bless you. if you didnt get time to read the story I gave all my blog friends for christmas please check it out.its called "the lamb of God".

tree,s from christmas past/and check out the christmas story below this one.

Lucys tree.

My dear friend Doris made this for my mom and Step Dad one christmas.
all three are sharing christmas in heaven..

this is my mother in laws tree from a few years ago.she didnt put all her lovely oranments on this time.
she has the prettyest ones you ever saw.

this is Anna,s home and her little fireplace,its not real but sure looks like it is.
she picked up a new insert that looks like real flames.if I can Ill take a picture or maybe she will have one on her blog.
the post under this cause the Lord gave me a story to share with you.

come into my home

welcome let me make you feel at home.

sit by the fire and warm your soul.let me tell a story that lets glory unfold.the love of a stranger, a voice of a friend.and story given for a heart to mend.
open your heart and listen real close you may find a answer to the question that bothers you most.
this time of year is so lovely and so dear.it blesses us all and brings us good cheer.we gather together in homes far and near.and chreish our loved ones more closely each year.
so sit down and enjoy for a while, a gift that I give you from the heart with a smile.

go down to the next post and you will find "the Lamb of God"the story the Lord gave me to write today.

a candle in the window / the Lamb of God.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OUR TROOPS AND THEIR FAMILYS...there is a flame in the window for all of you tonight.you are loved and your in your countrys prayers.angels watch over everyone and cover them with peace this christmas and get them home safe...
thank you for what your doing..God bless you all.

isnt this the cutest picture?I love to collect mice,not the real ones the colloctor ones.I have a lot of them.my kids gave me some and I picked them up at diffrent times.they make me smile.

the lamb of God...

( short story for my blog family for christmas.)

mic stood out side the store,and looked in at all the lovely christmas decore.the tree,s were covered with lovely ornaments and doves and holly.and here and there among the branchs were small real birdnests nesled next to pretty blue birds.the trees were the prettyest ones mic had had seen so far this year.

he turned back to skan the side walk but only a few people walked past and none of them were mary.he had missed seeing her for the last few years.they had been friends for way over a life time he guessed.they had known each other all their lives.mic thought of the years as they had passed .it seemed mary and he had always been together.

they were infact more like brother and sister then friends.well the best of friends anyway.

he could look back and see them as far back in time as his memories went.his mom and marys mom were childhood friends to.and their familys had always taken trips and had partys together.

and for all of their lives they had lived next door to each other. that is till mary had gone to collage and mic had gone to one out west.they had kept in touch all through the years till they both finished their schooling.

but then some thing changed and mic had been busy with his new found love .and mary and he had drifted apart.she had moved to a small town near home and was a lawyor.mic had gone on to be the doctor he had always wanted to be .he had moved to and small town in the mountains..

his life had meaning and he felt he was doing some thing for man kind.he didnt make the big money he had hope to but he felt it was best to be a healer not a money maker and his people loved him.

but for all the good he was doing ,one night had changed his life.he had a little girl he was treating and he had fallen in love with her as his own child.he was happy to be able to help her get better.but then some thing went very wrong.she had rallyed and gotten better and then went down hill fast and died in his arms.mic was devstated.

he had to go away for a few weeks to get his head back on.he couldnt even face the mother and father.he had come into the room and told them he was so sorry and almost ran from out of the room,before they were able to say it wasnt his fault.

he left the hospital after telling his staf he wasnt going to be in for a few week,s and to cancel all of his apointments.

he had packed his bags and headed into the mountains to his cabin.it was fall and he knew he could walk the mountain trails and sit in the high meadows and be once again able to see the meaning of why he became a doc in the frist place.

but the frist week there only made him feel more alone then he had ever felt in his life.he wondered around the cabin as if he were a ghost lost in time.

he walked out side now and then and sat on the bench over looking the valley.but most times he didnt even see the beauty all around him,all he saw was the face of little missy..and the smile she had on her face as she passed on.he couldnt see how a child could be so happy and loving when she was so sick.

but she had her little lamb, stuffed animal always close to her and she would say.

doctor mic this little lamb reminds me my best friend Jesus is always with me.and she would giggle and smile from ear to ear.her big brown eyes flashing with love and pure joy.

just the thought of it now brought tears to his eyes.he couldnt even say any thing to her cause he didnt believe in God.

he had seen so much in collage and been told so much of how the bible couldnt be true cause of this or that.he just had smiled at her.but the night she died he would never forget what she said to him.it was a grown up talk from a very small child.and it had cut him to the heart.

the parents had gone home to get their things to stay with her.and mic had come to say good night to her.hoping beyound hope the next morning would find her better.

he had come in to the room and her face lite up when she seen him.she said doctor mic can you hold me till Mommy and Daddy come back.

he had come to the bed and picked her up and sat her on his lap.and as he did she said close to his ear as she lay her head on his sholder.I want you to keep lamb for me so he dont get lonesome.and he will help you to remember Jesus loves you and is with you .and please doctor mic will you talk to him,cause he misses you.

and with that she had layed her head down and said tell mommy and Daddy I couldnt wait till they came back.Ill see them later.

he sat there for a while .he held her till the nurse came to check her.as she reached to do so she looked at mic and said O Iam so sorry.mic looked at her as if she was crazy or some thing.then he relized it.missy was gone.the lamb fell from her little arms and hit the floor.and the room and time stopped in mid air.

his chest felt like a vice was crushing him to death.and at that time he wished it did.he sat there unable to speak as the nurse took missy from his arms and said she would tell the family she was gone.he said he would if she would tell him when they came.he picked up the lamb and put it on the bed.he couldnt keep it.

he walked down the hall to a large broom closet.and went inside and broke down.he had never cryed like this in his life.he felt as if his heart was being ripped from his body and he wish he would die right there.he sat for a few minutes in the quiet of the dark closet.and then he said.if I didnt believe in you before I sure as hell dont now.how could you take a sweet child like her.she loved you.I will never believe there is a God,not after tonight.

he stood up and walked to the nurses desk.and she said the family was in the room with missy saying good by.he hated to go in but he after all was her doctor.and he had been the last one to speak with her.so he mustred up the strength he needed and walked in.

Patty, missys mom sat with her little girl in her arm,s.and she was praying.mark missys father was crying softly in the chair near by.

mic tryed to speak but tears ran down his face.he told them what had happened and what missy had told them .and he was going to run.but with out a word patty handed lamb to him and said two days ago missy said mom I want doc mic to have my lamby cause he looks lonely,and he needs Jesus love.with that mic ran out the of room.

now as he sat in the mountains he wondered how a child could know he was the lonelyest man in the world.he had it all,every thing he had wanted but he was still lonely, and didnt know why he was here.

he looked up to see a pair of eagles soring on the up drafts.effertlessly they circaled and dived as if they owned the heavens and they did.he watched as they flew to the rocky crags and what looked like a nest.he wondered if they had young?he looked down into the valley and seen homes off in the distance and wondered if happy people with healthy happy children lived there.and he cryed long and hard for the little angel who had tounched his life but would never be able to live her,s. and again he yelled out in side his hatered for a God who could kill a small child.

and as he sat he heard a small quiet voice say."I loved missy to.and I didnt kill her."mic sat straight up right and looked around.then when no one spoke he brushed it off.

he walked to the high pass and along the ridge till he came back to the cabin.he took in some wood for the night and put it in the wood box by the door.and readyed things for a meal of chicken he had picked up before he had come home the day before.he warmed it in the oven.and as he waited for it to be done,he walked out and sat on the screen porch.the wind was sweet with pine sent and fallen leaves.

as he sat enjoying or trying to enjoy the evening he said to himself.why would a God if there was one send a child like missy only to take her away so soon.the wind blew in and touched his face and brushed his hair into his eyes.and he heard the voice say" to reach you."

mic stood to his feet and yelled at no one and said stop this.dont blame me for her death,I did all I was able to save her,where were you!!!!!if your God where the hell were you?????all became still and he walked in as the buzzer went off on the stove.

he eat his supper and felt alittle uneasy.was he losing his mind hearing voices,no" a voice."he was afraid to even think or ask himself questions for fear he would hear it again.he desided to read after supper.but as he tryed he couldnt even remember what he read even thow he had reread it three times.he throw the book across the floor.

he got up and walked to the window and watched the last rays of the sun go down behind the mountain.and watched the chic a dee,s fly from tree to tree.for days he wondered in the hills and meadows,and walked along the mountain stream.and sat on the ridge.but no answer to the pain made any sence.he desided he would never get close to anyone again he was treating.and that seemed to help ease his heart alittle,well at lest for that minute anyway.

then he was walking in the north meadow one after noon and had lay down in the grass and watched the sky.he fell asleep and dreamed a lovely dream.he saw this lovely place with grass as green as emerelds, and sky as blue as ever he had seen .the trees were waving and birds were singing and flowers covered the ground.he heard a voice in the distance and turned to see missy.she skipped over to him and said.

doctor mic you neednt feel sorry for me.Iam here with Jesus in this lovely place.I came for the time I was there and did what Jesus told me, and now I am home.and now you need to meet Jesus so when you find it time to leave you can come here to.and she smiled and skipped off with him watching her go.and then he woke up.he could feel this warm feeling of love and of joy.

he looked around and saw it had gotten dark.and the wind had picked up and storm clouds were moving in.and off in the distance lighting flashed across the evening sky.he got to his feet and walked in a hurry to get back to the cabin before it rained.

the grass was slippery on the path and once or twice he slipped as he hurryed.the rain came in lightly and he had to whip his eyes now and then to see where he was going.he came around a bend in the woods and nearly fell to his death cause he had taken a wrong turn in the dark.he had just managed to catch hold of the big pine as his foot went off the ridge.he pulled himself up and got his footing and walked on.he was shacken and watched where he was going more carefully after that.

when he came to the path near the cabin he felt safe again.had that pine tree not been there he would have fallen and no one would have found him for days maybe years.this side of the mountain where he was and the path he had been on was on the wilderness side of the mountain.people who got lost on that side of the mountain uselly sayed lost.he said to himself good thing that old pine was there.and a voice said "thank God it was there."but he pertended he didnt hear the voice.

the days were going fast and he would have to go back to town soon and his job.but he didnt feel any better.even the dream as lovely as it had been didnt answer any of his questions nore heal his lonely heart.as he made his supper he thought to himself about his life.about all the things he had learned in school and collage.things that said there was no God.only some fairy tail for weaklings to cling to cause they werent strong enough to handle the real world.he had met christains in collage and they had tryed to tell him why they believed what they did.but he had been polight and walked away saying he was too busy to talk now.and it had worked.he thought they were nice enough people,but he wasnt interested.

a friend of his mom had also tryed to speak to the family but his mom had said she didnt want to talk about it.that had been years ago and the lady had passed away a few years later.he had liked her cause she would always talk to him and give him candy when he came into her store.

as mic eat the burger he fryed.he sat on the chair near the window and watched the lighting.he didnt know why he felt so lost when he had every thing.he thought maybe he should get married.maybe he would feel more fullfilled with a wife.but his friends were married and they felt nearly as lonely as he did but wouldnt addmit it to anyone but him.O they loved their wives and familys but they said some thing was missing and they didnt know what.none of them were believers eather so mic didnt feel bad.but he knew missys family and they were christains and far from being weaklings.he had watched them face this sorrow with strength and hope,even when their little one died.

he couldnt figure how anyone could trust a God who would let their daughter die.he would never understand!!!he finished his meal and washed the dishes.and then he picked up alittle.man he was getting to be a pig.he hadnt really done anything for days but walk and eat and sleep.so the cabin looked like some lazy person lived there.he changed the sheets on the bed and swept the floor and picked up the coffee cups he had left where he layed them.soon all was clean and in its place.and by then it was near midnight.

he crawled into the clean sheets and fell into a deep sleep.he saw himself walking in a high meadow by a spring feed stream.he watched the water rushing down the rock covered stream bed.he sat and watched it for a while .all at once he saw a man looking at him from across the stream.he thought he should know the man.the more he looked at the man the more he could see the love in the mans eyes.and the more uneasy he becamse.he didnt know this man and here he was all alone.why was this man staring at him.then the man spoke.

"mic you need to deside before you leave this mountain".and as soon as he said it he was gone.and the dream faded to a restless sleep,so restless mic woke with sweat running down his face.some one or some thing had chased him into a dark cave.and he had woke up from fear.

he looked at the clock and it was nearly 3;00am.he sat up and desided to go to the bathroom. he came back and got some water.and stood by the window but it was too dark to see anything but the pine branch close to the window.

he lay down and tryed to go to sleep again.and as he did he seen some thing sticking out of his bag.he had forgotten he had put lamb in it before he left the hospital,and completly forgot to take him out.he reached over and pulled the cute little guy out into the light.he could see why missy had loved him so.his face was fuzzy and he had a smile as big and as happy as any one he had seen.his little eyes were blue and he had a ribbon of blue around his neck.a little flower covered the not on the ribbon.and he was soft and cuddly.a little tag said my name is lambkin and I belong to missy and she belongs to Jesus ,dec 2 the day she was born again.missys mother had written it there.

mic looked at the lamb and he felt loss creep into his heart again.he was going to through the lamb when he felt some thing in its back.he turned it over and found a small zipper on his back.he unzipped it and a little book fell out.

mic picked the book off the floor and looked at it.the pictures on the out side were child like but it was a small bible with missys name on it.he opened it up and inside in missys mothers hand was written.missy ann .her frist christmas from mommy and Daddy.then under it a picture of missy as a tiny baby.and under the picture, was written( give to doc mic if some thing happens to me.missy.)signed in a childs hand writing.dated only a few days before her death.

mic cryed tears that ran down his face and dripped on to his bare chest.he just let them fall he lay there for a long time with the bible layed across his chest.then he opened it and saw the words "you must be born again or you can not enter the kingdom of God".

mic didnt know what it ment.so he opened to another page "seek yee frist the kingdom of God and all his rightousness and all these things shell be added unto you".he had all the things he needed so this didnt make sence to him eather.so he truned to another page.

"believe in the name of the Lord Jesus christ, and you shell be saved and your house hold".well this is what he needed.his family wasnt saved none of them believed in anything but money and hard work,and helping others.they were good people, they just werent the God kind of people.

but he knew there was some thing to God.there was some reason why missy was sent to talk to him.and he had loved her ,and he knew she had loved him.cause she had given him the thing she loved most to keep him comforted if some thing happened to her.and as she had said to let him know Jesus loved him and missed him.

mic looked around as if to see if anyone was looking.then he giggled to himself who would be looking no one was here and no one but the wild life knew where he was.he got on his knee,s and prayed,Jesus missy loved you.and I dont even know if your real or not but I know darn well I aint happy.and my life its not all I thought it was cracked up to be.I have every thing but still feel empty.

if you are real can you please show me so I can believe.forgive me for the years I sent running away from you.for not hearing those you sent across my path to tell me about you.please save me Jesus so when I leave I will be able to see missy and thank her for lamb.

mic lay his head on the bed and waited.no load sound of angels singing althow they did in heaven for it says all heaven rejoyces at the salvation of each sinner.no emotion flooded his soul.just a peace he could not explain washed over him like a lovely warm ocean wave.he knew there was a God,and he knew that he knew that he knew he was saved.

he cryed and he thanked God for sending missy,and for all the others who had tryed.he told God how lonely he had been and how he couldnt figure why when he was doing his best it never seemed good enough no matter how hard he tryed.there was always some thing missing.he lay talking to God.and woke still on the floor with his head on the bed and sitting on the floor.

he streched and looked around.every thing looked new,and he felt bran new.he got up and took a shower and eat breakfast.and took his coffee to the screen porch.the birds were singing and the colored leaves were falling in a shower of sun light.as he sat there he wanted to share his new found love to mary.he would call her when he got home.he loved mary in a way he had never loved another woman.but he didnt understand why.maybe he would one day.

he looked up from his thoughts of only a few weeks before and saw mary coming down the street.big smile on her face.as she linked her arm through his, she said have I got something to share with you.and he said "me to..."

All rights reserved to the auther and blog owner.copy/ right .dec 5th 2007.no part of this can be used or printed.Leann viewfromtheeaglesnest..

the snow is falling out my window.

the little woodlen fokes will be running for cover tonight.

I love so much to see them in the wild.they bless me so.

thank God for the things he made to bless us.for the snow and the season to be thankful,and for the gift he sent this season.JESUS....

this part of the post is for all my little grandkids and grandkittys for the love they have given me.and how they bless me when I visit them at their homes.

and today looks just like it does through that window.its snowing,the big fluffy snow flakes are flooting softly down.I can hardly see the park across the road let alone the hills to the west.its so pretty Id like to be out in it taking pictures,but know its best to just enjoy it from afar.

I had intended to go and visit Anna just to get out for the day.but when I checked the weather channel I desided another day would do.we may get another 1 to 5 inches.

so its best to stay in and keep warm.its cold today to.

I took some pictures of it out my window,but will wait till I get more before I post them.

these little pictures are on a free blog for christmas pictures.I will share them now and then with you.all I did was go in sreach and type in free christmas pictures and found many of them.then put them on my favorites and into my picture holder.works good.now if I could figure out the rest of this computer Id be doing good.

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from here on I was getting out the last of the past and putting to rest the things needed to be..

last night I was up till nearly 3;00am.I was thinking about the relationship with hubby when it was still good and we still had a closeness,before he flipped out.I was able to look back and not feel a deep pain in my heart.I am healing.thank you Lord...

we could talk and share and be close to each other.we would go for rides out in the country and look for the blessings the Lord would send our way.I miss those times.I loved him with all my heart and felt blessed to have someone.

I valued him and treated him with respect.I knew he had done some wierd things when he was younger and before we got together, as man and wife.and I had forgiven him,cause I knew God did.things were good for that time.

we traveled alot and saw alot of this country together.and it was nice to be driving with someone you could say honey look at that .and we would share the joy of it together.we would stop along the way and Id let him go check out the places I couldnt walk to.and if they were not too far Id go to.

we would go and visit his family 3 hours from where we lived.and it was always so nice to see his Mom and Dad.she always made us feel like she was so glad we were there.there was a peace and comfort we all felt,like God was blessing us and giving us time with him.

I remember the walks we took with mom in her lovely garden.the birds singing and making nests here and there in the spring.the flowers so beautiful and the smells so heavenly.

the mist on a early morning walk, hovered so lovely over the garden and the sun kissed it so softly and made it even more pretty.

I remember the time we took her picture sitting on a planter.it was so pretty she made prints of it.hubby took the picture,.he did a good job.

the other kids would come and visit and Id get to see the little ones and hold the baby,s.it was a blessing.we would visit with the grandma,s and go to their homes.we would go places with mom and she took us out to eat once or so.it was fun.

we would go to the lake near his home where his mom and Dad would sit when they were courting.and where Dad asked her to marry him.it was a lovely place.we would sit on the bench and look out over the water and see the blue herrons fly over,and the gulls.we would watch the fish jump off shore.the breeze was always cool there.

but like all good things some thing went wrong,very wrong.and if I were able to put a finger on it I dont think I am able.cause to be honest I dont know what caused it all to be ripped out of our hands.

I know some of it was hubby resented my closeness with the Lord.at frist he enveyed it.but then he acted as if unless he could be top dog and the one with all the attention it was not to his liking.

he became wierd and did odd things I didnt understand.he would be so high I would get scared.and he wasnt on any thing.

and his mouth would run like a whipperwills butt in a wind storm.you could not shut him up.he tired me out with his constent chatter.

even when I asked him to be still for a while he would get in my face and say why wont you talk to me.

Id say I need some quiet time please.its bad when you cant even get a minutes peace.

it was so bad one day at the store people were looking at him.

I had to say I need to think what we need, can we pleace talk about this out side!!!but he wouldnt stop.

I finely had to say if you cant be still Ill have to go out side cause I cant shop like this.but he still kept up till I made believe I was leaving and he finely shut up and said he was sorry.I was so run down from it I could barely think let alone do what I had to.

and when we got done and were in the car he started right back up.I said please I need quiet please!!!!he yelled at me and almost run into the curb cause he was in my face yelling why will you not talk to me.

I wanted to say you talk enough for us and three others.but I didnt want to hurt him cause I loved him and didnt know what the heck was going on.

I was scared so scared I was afraid to think of when we got home and what he would do.he was not only acting hiper but odd.he didnt even look like the same person.it was scarey.

I didnt feel safe with him driving so I said I need to stop here.he pulled over and I said I want to drive.he wasnt going to let me at first. so I said if I cant drive I will call some one to come get me.

he let me drive,and I said do not ever yell at me like that again and get in my face. I will not take that from anyone.

I try to keep stress out of my life,cause stress is a killer.so I wasnt going to put up with this ,but didnt know what to do.when we got home he left the car to go mail a letter inside.I said I needed to sit there a minute.

when he left I called Anna and told her what was going on and I was scared.she told me to be carefull.I said I think I need to take him to the hospital,dont know what else to do.it was so hard cause how do you take the one you love to the wak ward.

but there was no way out.this was above anything I knew of.and I needed some help with him.

my heart was breaking cause this person I loved was so strange I didnt even know him anymore.my insideds were in knots and I could have crawled into a hole and hid.but there was nothing else I could do.I told him there was some thing very wrong and we needed to go to the hospital for help.he didnt want to get in the car again,but I said a prayer for Gods help and as soon as I did he got into the car.

I cryed when we waited in the hospital.it was so hard.when we finely got to go up to speak with the lady I cryed and spilled all the mess from the last few weeks.I told her every thing.when she talked to him he said I brought him there cause he was happy!!!

the lady looked at him as if he was from mars.and said mr hubby your wife is scared out of her mind .I do not think she brought here cause your happy!!!!

there is a big problem here and we are going to find out what it is.and she pushed the point.he finely agreed there was some thing wrong and signed himself in.

I stayed with him tell they came to get him.he was not too pleased with me.but I said hubby there is some thing the matter and they will help you.

when I left they gave him some pills to calm him down and he went down the hall and danced and twirrled for about three hours the nurse said.she said he was going to prove to them he could not be affected by the pills cause he was a christian.

finely he calmed down and went in his room and took a nape.but the next day he did the same thing when I called the nurse said he was in the hall dancing and spining.

it was very scarey.

thinking back now I dont know how I made it through.only by the grace of God.I cryed and cryed as I lay in bed at night.I knew deep in my heart I was losing my hubby.and there wasnt a thing I could do but trust God.it was as if the dream Id prayed for and trusted God for ,for 18 years was being ripped from me.

I knew the Lord had promised me someone to love and who would love me.and I had waited faithfully.I didnt know who the person was or even when he would come along.

and when some of the signs pointed to hubby and I.and then we fell in love.I thought I had finely found him.and then this..it was so scarey I didnt understand.I had to put it in the Lords hands.I remember saying Lord why would you put us together if it wouldnt work.you know I been hurt so much before!!!why would you do this???

but every day the thing would get worse and I could feel the one I loved slip more and more into the darkness.one night I went to visit him and he wouldnt even look at me he sat next to me with his back to me.I held him and told him how much I loved him.and he turned even his head away.

he went to his room and as he did I looked at his bible and inside on a paper he had written me a note.

it said he was going to tell me he didnt love me and never did.it broke my heart.I closed the bible and sat there.he came back and we talked but it was as if I was with some little boy and I didnt know him very well.he didnt act like my hubby he acted like some stranger.

I remember walking out of the hospital and the tears fell unchecked down my face.the night was pretty but it had no effect on me.I drove home and sat in my chair and cryed.my heart was in pieces.all I could remember was seeing those words.

"Iam going to tell you I never loved you. "

I went to the Lord and cryed..I called hubby a while later but he was down in the family room with some other people.he was talking with some younger girl, her him and some others would get together and talk sing and dance.

when i came one time he had been sitting with her and he got up fast when he heard I was there.

I had already seen them.he said there was nothing going on.but every time I called he was with her and the others.it doesnt matter cause the end was coming any way.but I do know this if I had been in his shoes Id never have talked to other men with him coming to see me.Id have felt like I was betraying him.but he never cared what I thought or how it would affect me.

I could see it in the girls eyes she was up to no good,but like most men he didnt even see.I talked to her and gave her a bible of her own.and she was shocked cause we both knew what she was up to.she was let out the next day.she said to him your wife is nice why did she give me a bible?(do good for evil).

well as I look back its easy to see what caused this mess.but its not easy knowing why.when he got out I was so afraid.they had told me I had at lest a week or so before he came home.but when I went to a conforance the doctor said he could come home.

I said he is still having problems and I dont know how to treat him to help him.the doctor looked at me as if I was the one who had flipped out.

and come to find out hubby had told him it was all my fault.the doc asked me to tell how I felt and I told him, I was scared and he just brushed my fears away as if they were nothing.like I was making a mountain out of a moll hill.

well I been through alot in my life and it took a whole lot to get me scared.well this was way beyound my knowing what to do.

they let him out and as i walked to the car with him I was scared.I prayed like I had never prayed before.and I could sence the hubby blamed me for his stay in the hospital.he acted as if he were angery.and I didnt know how to act cause I had never seen him huffy.

we got home by me driving.he was on pills he could not drive .

and the nightmare of living with a person you didnt know began.it was the hardest time of my life to date.he was not the man I had marryed.Lord knows he wasnt even the friend I had known.

we lived in a daze and walked though the darkness of being two people who had had some thing good but lost it.

I showed him the papers he had writen on in the hospital.the ones that said he had never loved me.it said also he had been going to tell me that night but couldnt cause he seen I only ment good for him and how much I loved him so he couldnt say it.

it didnt make any diffrence cause I already knew what he said.and he didnt say he loved me.

I still loved him then.and still held out hope we would be able to make it.but it was not ment to be.

another year dragged on and the heaveyness of being with someone who couldnt make up their mind if they loved you or not or if they were going to stay.was crushing.

I couldnt even let the kids be around us too much cause never knew what he would say.it was so hard.

then the day came when I could take no more.and the Lord was my only help to know what to do.I went in the bedroom and lay down and cryed as quietly as I could so he didnt hear me.

I said Lord my heart is broken and you need to do some thing cause I am not going to make it if you dont.I dont even care if I live or die any more.I am no good for me or the kids and I cant help hubby.you need to do some thing.

and I lay and was quiet.and in the stillness his voice said "ask him if he wants to stay or leave.,give him till saturday".

that was 5 days away.my heart smashed on the floor ,the last bit that was able to smash.

I said Lord you need to hold my heart cause I cant hurt like this any more.

and peace came for the frist time in over a year.and I lay there feeling it wash over me as if it were a gental stream on a warm day.it comforted me and gave me the hope that no matter what I still had the Lord.no matter what hubby desided I would be ok...

it took less then 5 days for him to run.he had been given his way out and he choose to give up what he had,my love and the 8 months of wonder we spent in the good time together.

he said he was leaving and he did after he packed all his stuff.I told him he would need to get the things done that needed to be done.he was not going to leave me with the mess.so he worked on doing it before he left calling the bank,and the paper work.

I told the kids he was leaving and everyone felt bad.Anna cryed and said mom I am so sorry,you deserve better then this.wish I could do some thing to help and make it better.

Lucy was lived she wanted to smash him.and she was really tee,d.the grandkids were so upset.

the littlest girl sar bear said mom get on the phone and tell NaNa to come stay with us the people who love her...and I did go down and stay with them for a while.

but the day came when he was ready to go.he stood behind me and stared out the window.and said nothing.it was good cause the tears ran down my face,glad he didnt see.

he said almost to himself.

I will miss the town and the lovely places around here.maybe I should go say goodby to them before I go.

I sat quiet,thinking its just like you.to think of stuff that cant be hurt and you will miss that but like you once said."I dont miss people".

I could not believe him just standing there and looking out the window.he would miss the view and the parks and the places,but as for me he would care less.

and he didnt miss me.he walked out the with barely a goodby and for 6 months I didnt hear a peep out of him.no check to see if I was ok or any thing.

his sister checked on me.his mom would talk when she could when he wasnt there.but him he went about his life as if we had never been.

then 6 months later after I had gotten on my feet and was doing better.he calls to say "are you ok? I have been hearing voices saying your real bad off."

I said no Iam doing fine,it took me a while but with the Lords help Iam fine.

he sounded as if he was upset I hadnt crawed into a hole and died because he wasnt here.I said arent you happy Iam doing good?he didnt know how to answer ,other then getting mad he had heard wrong again....

I talked to him off and on and prayed he would get better.and for a while it looked as if things were getting better.then one day he called and said I love you and want to come home.

I said well lets just see how things go for the weekend.you can come and stay for the weekend.but I will not have sex with you nore will I let you come if you dont take your pill,s.he promised to take his pills and he would only stay the weekend.

I thought maybe things had changed and it would be ok.but when he got here I could see it was not ok.he didnt have his pills and he was like a caged animal.I knew it was not good.we went down to get his pills to be fair and he came back.and stayed.he wouldnt take his pills.so I said if you dont, you have to go.

he took them but it didnt do much but make him more stable.

I took him to a deliverance ministry I knew and we went to church there.but when they prayed he was upset cause they prayed more with me then him.so he got huffy and went to the bathroom,he said what ever it was he had was back and he wanted the paster to pray for him.

the paster did it to make him happy,but he said the prayer warrours already prayed for you.why do you have to have me.

hubby said he had problems with women.well soon we were on our way home and I felt like a heavy burrden was lifted off me when they prayed for me.the fear I had felt for months was gone and I felt like finely I was heading the right way again.a peace I cant explain moved in and took over.

but the hubby was still messed up.he was wecloming the problem back in.he would not believe the prayer had helped.he just refused to have the faith to believe he was healed.

and it was only a short time before he went off his pills with out telling me.and with in only about 4 days he was back into the weirdness again.he said God told him not to take the pill,s.

I said well when I prayed about letting you come home the Lord told me to make you promise to take them or you could not come.and he hasnt told me other wise.so if he said it then you should be better in a few days instead of worse.so Ill see.well with in 3 days he was already showing the effects.and the 4th I said thats it I will not take no more.you made me a promise and you broke it.you need to leave.

he said he was out of his pills.and did some side stepping.but I said Ill use the last money I have and get your pills.but you need to leave.so he packed his stuff and I walked him down ,and took the key for the apartment.as I sat and watched him drive off, cause I had left minutes before and parked to be sure he left.

I drove out to Anna,s,as I did I knew why he had come back.it wasnt to be with me.it was cause the Lord let me know I was better off alone.

if he hadnt come back Id have always wondered if leaving was what was suppose to be.now I knew it was a blessing in discize.I was free.

yes I still cared about him and in a way still loved the man who was with me in the 8 months of good.but he was gone and he wasnt coming back.and the stranger who had come in his place no longer believed as I did.

he ended up in the wako ward only a few days later.and was there for a long time.he contacted me when he got out again and said he was doing better.but it was the same.he wasnt the guy who I knew.

5 times in the hospital in 5 years.he says there is nothing wrong with him.that he doesnt need the pills.he blames me.but I said "with all dew respect,I am not the one who has been in the hospital 5 times".and let it go at that.

so when the last letter came to inform me my mom didnt go to heaven but some other plant.I had enough.the papers will be signed and all will be handled as soon as I get the money.

do I still care about him?yes I always will ,he was my friend for 29 years.and I still have love for him deep in my heart.but its for the bright eyed young man who loved me for a while and made me feel like I could have my dream after all.but he is gone and he is not coming back.and the girl I was then is gone as well.she died the day he walked out the door.

a new life is on the harizon for me.and I look with hope to finding what the Lord has for me.he is the one I can trust, and he alone loves me as Iam,but loves me too much to leave me that way.

I will be ok,it may take a while for all to heal.but it will.

thank you for reading if you did.and thanks for understanding this is how I get things off my chest.God bless you and have a great week.